A dark well

Have you ever fallen down a well and watched how dark it gets the deeper you go? Well technically neither have I, but that is what it feels like sometimes. The more I try to claw my way out the more tired I get. When I get this tired I can't even look up to see the light. With all that I have in my life I should not be in this dark place. My son is the brightest light I have ever seen. I adore him and love him with all my heart. Yet I still cannot get out of the pit. Some people think I should "just do it" "just get over it". Well as easy as that sounds, it's not. If I could do that I wouldv'e done that 25 years ago. WOW 25 years of feeling like this. I really must be sick. I want to feel joy, I want to feel happiness, I want to feel like I'm not a burden on my family and others. I want to feel love. Yet I feel darkness. I'm going to keep doing the therapy, and keep trusting in God to pull me through this once again. I guess that is all I can do. The other options are just not good enough.